... i'm STILL laughing at napoleon dynamite...

these are my friends jack & dominic & me at montserrat this past october 

yesterday i went to starbucks to work on some stuff. i had my backpack with me and when i ordered, the cashier asked very sweetly, "are you on your way to school?" it is nice to know that i'm less than a week away from turning 28 and i'm still being mistaken for a high school student. i've still got it, baby!

but, seriously, lately i've been overwhelmed by how amazing the people in my life are. i can call some truly incredible people my friends. i think what got me reflecting on this was a phone call from my friend dominic in london. i had written him a letter telling him about some of the changes that are going on right now and he called to give me some quick encouragement. when i got off the phone with him i felt peaceful and encouraged and blessed. my mind started wandering to all the people in my life who have that affect on me and it was a long, beautiful list. these people seem to believe way more in me than i do in myself and that is so nice, especially in uncertain times. i wish that somehow all these people could be in the same place at the same time. that would be the best.

phoebe, april & me

i know, i know, i know. it has been a long time. if it makes you feel any better, i am this way with my personal journals, too. anyway, lots and lots of things have happened since my last blog. the highlights are that i went to the beach on my annual girls trip with my mom and my sisters, went to montana, went back to alabama for another wedding (i was the maid of honor), went to canada via a 12 passenger van filled with middle school students, went to tennessee for high school camp, dropped by at my parent's house on the way to camp, and then went to middle school camp in wilburton. needless to say, it has been a busy summer. but, i've loved it!

it has kind of been an emotional summer, too. there have been lots of changes and lots of goodbyes. the end of may, the mullicans left. they are such an amazing family. besides brad and shannon voss, they were the first people i met at garnett. i stayed with them the weekend i came to interview for my job. that has always meant a lot to me. their hospitality and kindness was amazing that weekend and continued in our friendship the last few years. they have taken care of me in so many ways. i also miss working with jon and the leadership he provided for me. i miss them being around!

in june, brad and shannon announced they would be leaving and moving back to the dallas/ft. worth area to be closer to their families. yikes! i still haven't sorted out all the feelings i have about this. i think some it hasn't sunk in yet. brad and shannon are my best friends in tulsa and i love jud and phoebe so much. there are a lot of implications at work, but i'm more concerned with my friendship with them. well, i can't think about it too long or i'll get sad, so we can move on to the next depressing departure...

the graduates. man, i love those kids. this is the first class i've worked with that has gone all the way through the high school program. it is crazy to think about them as freshmen when i got here in 2000. i am so proud of them and i'm so excited about what lies ahead for them, but i'm not ready to let them go. i guess i'm getting a tiny taste of the whole "letting go" that parents have to do. just my tiny taste of it is so hard.

so, i'm in this place where there are a lot of changes and even more questions. i am pretty unsure about the future of a lot of things. but, i'm trying to be ok with that and stay calm. a few months ago - before all the craziness - my friend lisa shared an article with me (great timing by the way!) that was from right after 9/11. the author was addressing the place we had found ourselves in as a nation. we were in this place where everything we had known was different and we could never go back. but, we had no idea what the future would hold for us. so, we were kind of in the place of grief and uncertainty. the author says that as americans, we try to get out of this place as soon as possible, but in reality this space can be sacred and a place that God breaks into and it can be an incredible time of transformation. you can read the article if you want to. anyway, i know my circumstances are nowhere near as dramatic or huge as 9/11, the concept the author talks about has impacted me profoundly in thinking about current circumstances in my life. the "not knowing" aspect of things is so hard and it makes me feel stupid and kind of irresponsible. i've found that other people aren't comfortable with you being ok in that state of not knowing. it drives people crazy. the article says that, of course, you can't stay there forever. that would be pretty unhealthy. but, for the time being, i'm working on settling into that and seeing what happens.

plus, if i worry too much about the future, i'll miss some amazing things that are happening right now. i'm pretty excited about the high school group right now. there are several students that have really stepped up and want to help and be involved. i know a lot of people think things will not go well this fall, but i think things will be fine.

anyway, some of the movies, music, shows i've been taking in are... in the movie category i've missed several of the summer blockbusters, but a couple of movies i've loved this summer are the village and napoleon dynamite. first, i have to tell you that these two movies are totally different. the village is such an interesting movie. it produced much food for thought. i went to see it with several students and after it was over we sat there for a while talking about it. i'm still thinking about it - maybe i'll write more later. i went to see napoleon dynamite last night with lindsey and heidi. i laughed all the way through it. the movie is about this guy, napoleon, and his life. it's tough to really identify a plot, but it is hilarious. if you don't like stupid comedy, this one probably isn't for you. but, i'm still laughing at that movie.

musically this summer i've gotten into some different bands. i've been listening to ben harper and wilco a lot. i also read a book on the spirituality of bob dylan and i've been checking out some of his stuff. i've also been listening to the new matt redman cd. it is pretty good. watermark also has a new cd out. they aren't my favorite as far as style of music, but i love their lyrics and their focus. i've always connected with their songwriting. one of my new favorite worship leaders, tim hughes (he wrote here i am to worship) has a cd coming out on august 24, along with bebo norman.

in the tv show realm, i haven't watched much of anything on a regular basis. but, i am preparing to get into alias. over the summer i've viewed the first season and i'm about to start on the second season. i'll also be getting back into csi.

this summer i've been reading the story we find ourselves in by brian mclaren, spiritual journeys which is a collection of essays on the spirituality of pop icons, the marriage of sense and soul by ken wilbur, restless pilgrim which is about bob dylan, how movies helped saved my soul which is about the spirituality found in different movies, and the awake project, a book of essays dealing with the aids epidemic in africa. i also listened to the davinci code one of my drives to alabama. the next couple of books on my "to read" list are prayer by richard foster and the divine conspiracy by dallas willard. i am determined to read the willard book this fall. i have started his book several times and never finished it, but this time i'm finishing it!

so, that is a relatively quick update. peace.